You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize