how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
