i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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