And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
