if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
