u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
