I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
