The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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