i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
