who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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