I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
