Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
