Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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