but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
