Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
