i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
