I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
