I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We left an ass print on the piano.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
