Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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