some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
