i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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