I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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