is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
