Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
