I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
