I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
