it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
