I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
