Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
