watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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