just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
false alarm. still invincible.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
