maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize