Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
