I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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