what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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