3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
