I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Terrible idea I love it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize