Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
