Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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