if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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