Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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