Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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