dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Who died my cat blue again?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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