we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
