I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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