Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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