i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
