I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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