is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I skipped work to stalk him.
bring money and cleavage
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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