i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
