she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
