And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
