She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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