I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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