I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
