Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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