JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
now i know why i became what i already was.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
