We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
