We won't sleep together?
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
