She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
