I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
