Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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