Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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