I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
