come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
