recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
