when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Acid is not a monday night drug
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
