She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well I just put wine in my tea
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
